A scene in “Young Washington,” a film released this summer about George Washington's early years, caught my attention. Young George is being taught about civility and how he conducts himself around others. At one point, he is told something simple but meaningful: Respect must be earned.

As America marks its 250th anniversary, I found myself thinking about what that scene tells us about the people who built our country.

As a teenager, Washington copied the 110 “Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation” into a notebook as part of his self-education. It’s important to note that he didn’t create these rules — he studied them as principles to learn, practice and incorporate into the way he lived his life.

What strikes me most is the idea behind the exercise: how we treat other people is something worth learning and practicing. Washington wasn't studying how to win an election or persuade a political audience. He was learning that character, discipline and conduct toward others matters. These concepts still resonate today.

When we think about America’s founding, we often focus on the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the people who shaped them. Those achievements deserve attention. But self-government depends on more than documents and institutions. It also depends on the people who make those institutions work and the habits they bring to public life.

Civility is one of those habits.

Civility does not mean agreement. In fact, it matters most when we disagree. It means listening before responding, challenging an idea without diminishing the person who holds it and exercising enough restraint to remember that winning an argument isn't the only measure of success.

The lesson Washington studied as a young man may deserve another look. As America reflects on its 250th anniversary, this is a good time not only to celebrate what our country has accomplished, but to think about the kind of citizens we want to be for the next 250 years.

Perhaps civility is worth studying again, beginning with ourselves, not because we need to re-create the past, but because self-government still requires people who know how to govern themselves.

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